however, if you cannot be bothered with all that, the following is the short version:
fuck. so, it begins. he was a boy - or so he thought. he was puzzled about his beginning. there was the presence of death. his mother confused him with his dead older brother. she was manic-depressive. suicide was an option. but this is nonsense.
fuck. what is not nonsense? the words are... well, what words are... we use them to describe ourselves and the world we find ourselves in.
fuck. he found himself in this world about 50 some odd years ago. it was strange, yet familiar. he went to school. he met other children who were to grow up and become adults somehow. he just ate some shrimp chow mien with some spring rolls. he smokes a cigarette. he watches tv. he reads mysteries. everything is the same. it has been the same since he can remember. he grew up to become an adult somehow. along the way he knocked up his first girlfriend. the baby, a son, was put up for adoption. along the way he became an artist for some reason. he doesn't know why. along the way he got married and had two more children, another son and a daughter. his son is a junkie and a bum. his daughter works in a library and wants to become a pharmacist. along the way he got divorced. along the way he went crazy and now lives off the welfare of the common taxpayer.
fuck. then there was insanity. he was introduced to insanity by his mother. at first insanity made no sense. then insanity did make sense. then it didn't matter whether insanity made sense or not. he introduced others to insanity. most did not like it.
fuck. his mother is dead. his father is dead. his cat, nightmare, is dead. he has two other cats now - molly and alice. all the cats were and are black. he used to have dogs, but they're all dead now too. he doesn't know whether he believes in god or not. maybe many gods. maybe none. maybe the nihilists are right. maybe reincarnation. maybe heaven and hell. maybe a dream of dreaming. maybe insanity. insanity is good. insanity is evil. insanity is indifferent. insanity is insanity. one knows insanity or one does not. insanity is heaven. insanity is hell. insanity is somewhere inbetween. insanity is on earth. insanity is the earth - and the sky. insanity comes to one. one does not come to insanity.
fuck. he wonders about wondering. what is wondering? he wonders about insanity. insanity is a wonder. a wonder is isanity. insanity is a flag waving over the world - a burning flag. but this is nonsense.
fuck. insanity is nonsense.
fuck.he didn't go to woodstock. he didn't go to chicago in '68. he didn't go to vietnam. insanity is noise. insanity is silence. insanity is speaking. insanity is stupid. he didn't go to the prom. he grew his hair long. he shaved his head. he has size 10&1/2 feet. today is wednesday. he has grandchildren via his son. he can't think of what else to write, but he writes on anyway. insanity is writing on without thinking. is insanity god? somehow he doubts it. he has an older brother (not the one who's dead) and two sisters. he is the baby of the family.
fuck. he established the REDECORATED SMORGASBORD POTLUCK ARTCHURCH OF NON-LINEAR PROPULSION AND METASCHIZOPHRENIC SCIENCE at the perpetual urging of the dada-ananda. this is insanity in a weird way. insanity is the weird way. there are many things that are strange. is insanity strange? in some respects it might be. in other respects it isn't. who respects insanity? who does insanity respect?
fuck. when he was a young teenager he used to kick his dog. he doesn't know why. does insanity know why? does insanity know anything? does insanity know everything? does insanity know something? does insanity know nothing? who knows what insanity knows? what is knowing? he had spaghetti for dinner. he just went to the bathroom. is insanity in the bathroom? is insanity anywhere? everywhere? somewhere? nowhere? is insanity the fbi? is insanity the cia? is insanity the pope?
fuck. insanity skips down the street whistling a tune that cuts through the hard edges. he takes 10 prescription drugs. he had problems with blood clots until they opened up his chest and removed them. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ insanity is a toilet full of shit. he was in the hospital for 3 weeks. insanity is perfect in its imperfection. he smokes another cigarette. he learns to forget.
fuck. tv watches him. he never had a lemonade stand. he's never been in jail. his son has been in jail. in fact, his son is in jail now. questions. answers. who can tell the difference between the two? is there a difference between the two? he just bought a ramones anthology cd. he doesn't sing. he's written songs. one song is:
arf, arf, the dogs doth bark.
the kitty cats howl at the moon.
i got my rig.
i got my junk.
where the fuck is my spoon?
fuck. it keeps going on and on and on. where does it go? where does it come from? where is it now? what is now? is insanity now? he has a goatee. he needs to shave. he also needs to take a shower. he does art inspired by album covers from 60s onward. he makes music inspired by his own imagination. it was hot out today. today is no longer wednesday. it is some other day. he is watching golf. he is boiling water.
fuck. this and that are about it...